It seems like just when we have adapted to a phase in development, Langley changes again. Her top two front teeth are growing in and it looks as if the incisors may be arriving soon. She is eating regular foods and we are working on maintain a balanced diet while ensuring that she gets enough calories to maintain her growth. It's a challenge. She is experiencing serious separation anxiety, more recently at night. I know she'll grow out of this phase but, it's so heartbreaking to see her express such fear. I wish there was a was to explain to her that we're not leaving her when she goes to bed.

It feels like winter is officially here. The windows have been open in our house and the cool night air is a refreshing change. We have renewed our evening walk ritual prior to dinner. Friday, we let Langley crawl in the grass at the park for a while. I think she enjoyed the freedom to explore the huge lawn.Charlie and I loved watching her discover grass all over again. Winter also brings cold and flu season. Its time for us to being our hibernation. Now until April, we'll limit Langley's exposure to large groups of people and we will absolutely avoid anyone who is sick or has been exposed to illness. Although this restriction is difficult, it is so important to make every effort to protect Langley from becoming ill. Her premature birth will affect her lungs and immune system for another year or two still. I've posted the link for the Centers for Disease Control for those of who want to learn a little more about RSV season. Thank goodness for netflix, tivo, books and the Wii. Otherwise, Charlie and I would go crazy! It's all worth the sacrifice for Langley.

Getting so big!

Today Langley graduated to a big girl bath. We have been bathing her in the infant tub up until this point both because she still fits into it and because it just seemed a little safer to be in a smaller body of water. It occurred to us that if she's old enough to stand in the little tub we probably should graduate her to the real thing. She seemed to enjoy the increased play room and the non-skid mat on the bottom of the tub prevented her from slipping all over. She is still so tiny and yet, becoming such a little girl. It's bitter sweet. Speaking of tiny, we stopped at the park during our afternoon walk. The weather is beautiful now and the park was teaming with children. We certainly cannot return anytime soon with the huge risk of RSV and flu exposure. Maybe with Lysol spray.... Langley loved the swing. She giggled and waved at her parents and the other children at the park. We also tried the small slide. We're still not sure if that one was a hit. Finally, our little lady is drinking from a sippy straw now. We're confident that she'll be close to retiring her bottles by early December when she'll be a year corrected.

It was so nice to be home with Charlie and Langley today. After sharing breakfast, Langley and I joined Charlie on a trip to the dentist. We're trying to expose Langley to as many sights and sounds as possible. She did pretty well but, got board a third of the way through the visit so we took a walk. We went to lunch at Francers afterward and made a stop at Target and the post office. My much anticipated custom "Kate calender" arrived! I have wanted this dry erase calender since I first spotted it on an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 and we finally set aside enough cash to order it for the new year. I love it so much. My OCD heart is filled with happiness. Charlie is at Monday Night Football tonight so, I had the joy of putting Langley to bed after her bath. Joey and I are hanging out watching the game and working on our laptops. Joey and Alexis have chosen no longer to live at our Dad's house. They have been spending time at my house and, despite the circumstances, it has been so nice to have them here. My family is the most important thing in the world to me. Charlie and I have seriously considered moving away this past year. Although there are situations and people that we would like to distance ourselves and Langley from, we have chosen to stay. I still believe in the "dream". I hope with all my heart that she'll have a close bond with her aunts and uncle and future cousins. They are each so smart, strong, and loyal. I feel fortunate that each one brings their unique personalities in to my family. I am so proud of the unbreakable bond that I share with my siblings and I am grateful that they are such a strong presence in Langley's life. I know our mother is so proud of each one of us.

I have lots to catch up on. Last Wednesday was Langley's last day of Lil Gym before RSV and cold season begin. She has made such strides developmentally and socially in class, we can't wait to go back in April. Plus, we'll miss the routine of being with other adults at least once a week. After class we went to the San Tan Village it's so cool to have an out door mall. There was a farmers market and we ate lunch at Brio in the patio. Langley has some lasagna and sampled her first fancy desert. She is so well behaved. The weather is cooling off now so, Charlie has taken Langley to the park to play on the swings while I'm at work. Saturday was beautiful so we ran a bunch of errands just to have an excuse to be out of the house and be outside. We spent the afternoon with Jennifer and Dallas at their apartment. Sunday was the sixth anniversary of my mom's passing. It's always a weird day. this time last year Langley was moved to the continuing care nursery and Charlie went to NASCAR so I spent the day alone. It's amazing how much our life has changed in the past year and so much more in the past six. Six years ago today Charlie and I were moving into our home. Anyway, yesterday the three of us enjoyed an early breakfast at Crackers and Co. We then visited Joey and Alexis briefly in the morning. That evening after some dramatic events (I wasn't there) Joey, Alexis and Brandon (Ali's boyfriend) all came over to the house. We spent the evening hanging out and talking to Jennifer on speaker phone (she was at her in-laws). Today, we're going to the dentist for Charlie's appointment and stopping by the post office to pick up the calender that I special ordered. More to follow on that later!

No naps!

Today was a typical day for Langley and I, breakfast right away and playing on the floor. Within twenty minutes all of the toys are scattered thruout the room and Langley has touched each one at least twice. Snacks for Langley are given all day and are in drive by form. I keep goldfish and cherrios on hand all day. When she wants some she just stops by the couch and opens her mouth. Still no nap yet. Lunch was simple, lunchable and juice. More playing on the floor and chasing the dogs around the house. Still no nap. I even tried to slow things down. Wrapped her up and gave her a warm bottle. All she wanted to do was play, so we packed up and went to the park. Langley is still a small little bug and she barely fits in the baby swing, but she really likes the back and forth motion in the air. We stayed at the park and the lake for about two hours. I think that may have worked because she only made it halfway thru dinner and was out. She even slept while I was putting her pjs on and changing her diaper. Out by six thirty. I don't think I will last much longer. Sleep tight. Charlie

Disappointment

I know this was ment for us to use this as a forum to keep everyone updated about our daily doings, but I needed to get something off my chest. Disappointment is a strong word and I am sure lots of people feel it everyday. Over the past year I have been able to witness some of the greatest things in my life. I would not trade them for the world. Today, I am disappointed. Disappointed in myself, for not telling people how I feel. Disappointed in my family, for not seeing how devoted to them I am. Disappointed in myself for letting people take advantage of me and my generosity. Today, I came to the realization that no matter how much I try, some people don't care about anyone but themselves. Devoting my life to a job that only ended up just being a paycheck was a real disappointment. I think I convinced myself that something better would have come from it. It was just a job and not my life. Life is more then a job. For so long I let it define who I was as a person. Everybody always asked and still ask, how "the shop" is doing, and for the first time I cannot answer that question. I think, when the job ended, I was sad and relived in the same moment. That time in my life is over. Trying everyday to help anyway possible and to no evale. I was the last one locking the door, only to see that there were still cars out front and the thought, do I leave it or do I reopen everything and put the cars away and be an hour late getting home. I always chose to put the cars away knowing nobody would even notice. My job didn't end at 5:30pm. To everyone else it is just a job and there is another one around the corner. I guess I thought too hard and hoped that working as hard as I did people would notice, but in the end all I ended up being was the bosses kid who was taking advantage of his parents. Don't let your job define you, jobs are a tightrope and they can snap at any moment. Be happy with your life first and then find something that you enjoy. Best wishes Charlie.

Charlie and I got up before Langley woke up and enjoyed some cottage cheese and fruit while reading the paper. After Langley finished breakfast we packed up and set out for the voting center. We anticipated a long wait so I was prepared with snacks and put Langley in the moby wrap. Much to our surprise we were only at there for twenty minuets. Later, Charlie had a hair appointment and Langley and I decided to join him for the outing. I ended up leaving Charlie's appointment with shoulder length hair, haha. I had been resisting the urge to cut my hair, afraid of ending up with the "mommy cut" but, I'm loving my shorter do. Next, we grabbed lunch and headed off to Costco. We went there to purchase some shatter proof Christmas ornaments and left with a few books for Langley, a new dog bed for Max and a box of gum. I don't know how they do it but, I've decided it's physically impossible to leave that store with one item. Charlie went to the shifter cart track this evening so Langley and I got to have a girls night. She finally discovered the Tupperware cabinet, the only cabinet without a lock, and decided to climb in and empty it out. I snapped a few pictures that I posted below. I'm still figuring out how to post things in this blog so I apologise for the awkward layout. We shared spaghetti-os and grilled cheese for dinner and after a bath Langley went to bed. As I'm composing this post Barack Obama has been announced as the President elect and Jon McCain is giving his concedance speech. What an awesome presidential race we just experienced! I an so greatful to have the privlege to vote I hope Langley will experience something similar when she is able to vote.